I had a bad dream on my nap. I don't remember it clearly but I know it was a bad dream. And right before I write this post I thought (and still thinking right now) about my past life. I think, that's the reason why I had bad dream.
For example, my horrible ex. I know this is mad but, we broke up almost 8 months ago and he already got a new girlfriend. It's not a short time to find the new one actually. But we are (my school mates and I) gonna face the National Examination which means, no more internet surfing (I'm kinda feel bad about that. I love my internet life...), no more lovey-dovey thingy, no more games, and no more laziness (argggghh). Just focus on the exam. What I complain about is not about these things. I complain the timing. Why the heck he doesn't date his new gf after the graduation? That will make my life a lot easier! (I was thinking that I'm jealous, but no. I like someone else.) Huh, teenagers love life is bad.
I also had another love life thing. I fell in love with him, uh let's say he's A. I loved A like a hell and I spent my past 10 months with him. He looked like he really loved me that time. We promised to be happy together. Or, that was just me who promised. People said that 'don't promise when you're happy' and I (that time) didn't know what it really means. Until one day, we broke up.
A left me with some feelings that I can't explain. I left him with some words I can't tell, and I really don't want to say those words again even if he ask me to. Then I see a tweet from someone on my twitter Timeline. The tweet was exactly like I wrote, 'Don't promise when you're happy'. I realized something. He loved me and that made me happy. Maybe, I loved him and he was happy too. Maybe, we were too happy and we promised. And the promise has broken like a ripped paper. I realized what I've done. And that was no good at all. He probably thought the same way as I did, but he choose to let it (his feelings for me and memories) go.
Maybe, all of my past life are bad. I'm no good at all. Maybe if I let go, like he did, I'll find a better boy than he is. Maybe if I let go my guilty on my head, I'll feel free to in love again. But, can I forget and erase easily those good times I spent with him? Can I erase those guilty feelings of my past?
My past life is actually in the category of 'worst past life', if I compare with my friends'. I actually really want to erase those bad things I did. I want to delete those, and replace them with good ones. I do, really do. But the question is, would my God will accept my apology? Am I still an innocent?
Questions are questions. I'll find the answer b myself, and I think I'm on the way to God's apologize.
Have a nice weekend! -s-
For example, my horrible ex. I know this is mad but, we broke up almost 8 months ago and he already got a new girlfriend. It's not a short time to find the new one actually. But we are (my school mates and I) gonna face the National Examination which means, no more internet surfing (I'm kinda feel bad about that. I love my internet life...), no more lovey-dovey thingy, no more games, and no more laziness (argggghh). Just focus on the exam. What I complain about is not about these things. I complain the timing. Why the heck he doesn't date his new gf after the graduation? That will make my life a lot easier! (I was thinking that I'm jealous, but no. I like someone else.) Huh, teenagers love life is bad.
I also had another love life thing. I fell in love with him, uh let's say he's A. I loved A like a hell and I spent my past 10 months with him. He looked like he really loved me that time. We promised to be happy together. Or, that was just me who promised. People said that 'don't promise when you're happy' and I (that time) didn't know what it really means. Until one day, we broke up.
A left me with some feelings that I can't explain. I left him with some words I can't tell, and I really don't want to say those words again even if he ask me to. Then I see a tweet from someone on my twitter Timeline. The tweet was exactly like I wrote, 'Don't promise when you're happy'. I realized something. He loved me and that made me happy. Maybe, I loved him and he was happy too. Maybe, we were too happy and we promised. And the promise has broken like a ripped paper. I realized what I've done. And that was no good at all. He probably thought the same way as I did, but he choose to let it (his feelings for me and memories) go.
Maybe, all of my past life are bad. I'm no good at all. Maybe if I let go, like he did, I'll find a better boy than he is. Maybe if I let go my guilty on my head, I'll feel free to in love again. But, can I forget and erase easily those good times I spent with him? Can I erase those guilty feelings of my past?
My past life is actually in the category of 'worst past life', if I compare with my friends'. I actually really want to erase those bad things I did. I want to delete those, and replace them with good ones. I do, really do. But the question is, would my God will accept my apology? Am I still an innocent?
Questions are questions. I'll find the answer b myself, and I think I'm on the way to God's apologize.
Have a nice weekend! -s-
